Posts Tagged ‘addiction’

Sex Addiction – What is it? Does it exist? Am I a sex addict?

Written by Warren Whitfield. Posted in Articles

 

What is sex addiction?

by, Warren Whitfield
C.E.O.
The Addiction Action Campaign

The following article is a transcription of an interview which I did for Fair Lady. I thought it may be useful to publish it here too.

Follows…..

What is sex addiction?Typically, addiction is characterized by powerlessness and unmanageability. In other words, people become powerless over using a substance or behaviour with the result is that their life becomes unmanageable because they cannot control themselves. It’s a physical or psychological dependence and a mental obsession. A sex addict cannot control themselves and has an obsessive mindset whereby their thoughts are plagued by sexual acts or fantasies. The result is that their lives, thought patterns, behavior and relationships become unmanageable.

Why do some people think it doesn’t exist?

Ignorance. Because people haven’t been educated on the subject and assume that there is no such thing. There is a big difference between someone who has lots of sex, and someone who cannot control themselves. Also, people who are irresponsible or get caught cheating will try to excuse their infidelity by saying that they couldn’t control themselves when in reality, their indiscretion was a carefully calculated betrayal.

Some experts even argue there is no such thing as sex addiction, it’s just bad sexual behaviour that falls into many categories. Is this true?

If you cannot control you mind, desires and behavior in any area, you are addicted. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a substance, thought, emotion or behavior. You cannot exclude sex from addiction because it is a behaviour and not a substance. if you can’t control your behaviour, you’re addicted.

How does it differ from nymphomania, satyriasis, compulsive sexual behaviour and hypersexuality?

Nymphomania refers to female hypersexuality and satyriasis refers to male hypersexuality. Hypersexuality refers to an elevated level of sexual behavior which doesn’t necessarily involve being out of control of your mind, will or behavior. Compulsive sexual behavior refers to state of being where someone has lost control of their mind, will and behavior when it comes to sex. So compulsive sexual behavior is another term for sex addiction, it’s the same thing.

Where do you draw the line between promiscuity and addiction?

Promiscuity normally involves curiosity and experimentation and possibly elevated sexual behavior. But it can become an addiction if someone who is promiscuous loses control of their desires and thoughts, and finds themselves having sex with partners that they do not actually want to have sex with.

Could it be misused as an easy way out for infidelity or even rape?

Yes. People do blame addiction for their betrayals and it can be a driving force behind a rape. But it doesn’t excuse anyone from the consequences of their actions. The law does not excuse rapists because they are addicted to sex and a divorce will not be resisted by a judge because a betrayal was influenced by sex addiction.

How many people (population percentage) become addicted to sex?

There are no official figures. Research has never been conducted to measure the extent of sex addiction in South Africa. However The Addiction Action Campaign receives as many enquiries from people needing help for sex addiction as we do for gambling addiction. Judging by the enquiries we receive, I would say that between 5% & 10% of South Africans struggle with compulsive sexual behavior / sex addiction.

Could you become addicted at any age, or is it something, like heroin, that’ll hook you straight away if you’re prone?

What we need to understand about sex addiction is that there are many different payoffs that people get out of having sex beside physical orgasms. If you have a low self worth, it can boost your ego. If you are lonely it provides company. If you feel unloved, it can make you feel loved temporarily. You can become hooked to sex quickly if it fulfills an emotional or ego need or lack that you have . As for becoming addicted at any age, this is unlikely as sexual desire normally does not begin in people until shortly before, during or after puberty. However, children can become corrupted into desiring sex prematurely if they associate a payoff for performing sexually.

Why is it addictive? (any chemical brain reactions, or purely psychological?)

Sex is addictive because of the way it makes us feel about ourselves physically and/or emotionally/psychologically. So yes we can become addicted to the endorphins that our brains secrete when we have sex, but the main driving influence is the psychological payoff.

What causes it psychologically?

A lack identity or a dis-empowering belief system causes it. We desire what we believe we need or we desire what we believe will give us what we believe will make us happy or whole. If people have associated physical, spiritual, emotional or mental fulfillment with having sex, they will desire sex. As soon as they understand that sex does not provide wholeness and find other ways to find the wholeness they lack, their psychological dependence to sex will diminish.

Besides obvious dangers like Aids and STDs, what harm does it do: to addicts and to victims? (to readers it might sound like a “mild” addiction compared to eg heroin. What makes it dangerous?)

It destroys marriages and creates single parents. It can result in people injuring or permanently damaging their genitals. It can leave them with a severely damaged sense of self worth and leave them with regrets that could plague them for the rest of their lives. It destroys relationships, reputations, careers and trustworthiness and can stop people from ever having normal relationships ever again. If someone who is addicted to sex finds themselves involved with psychologically abusive partners, it can result in anorexia or body dismorphia. Make no mistake, sex addiction is as destructive as any other substance or behavioural addiction. The consequences include spiritual, emotional and/or physical death.

Symptoms/signs? -How many times per week/day do you have to have sex or think about it? I.e, what classifies you as an addict?

(See our diagnostic test on our website) here… http://www.theaac.co.za/self-tests/sex-test

How can you help an addict close to you?

Don’t judge them. It can happen to anyone. Learn as much as you can about the issue and don’t enable or assist their destructive behavior to continue. Help them if you want to and don’t help them if you don’t want to. Recovery happens on recovery’s terms. In other words, someone who is addicted does not dictate their programme of recovery. They either learn what is required of them to recover and get busy doing that or they remain in active denial and addiction. Stay away from people who are doing it their way. You will not be helping them at all by condoning their methods. Contact Sex Addicts Anonymous who will point you in the right direction.

What does treatment involve through the AAC?

The AAC is a lobby group. We’re activists. We do not provide treatment or work with people in active addiction. We exist to deal with the entire issue of addiction and find solutions for the epidemic on a macro level by using the law & the constitution to bring about effective prevention and treatment services for the masses. A sex addict would require treatment by a treatment professional. I.e. either a psychologist or addiction counsellor or rehab and would work a daily programme of recovery in their lives that would change the way they think, resulting in a change of behavior. You cannot change the way you behave until you change the way you think. Typically recovery from addiction requires abstinence but this is not really practical when it comes to sex as we require it for pro creation. It does however require abstinence from destructive thinking patterns and destructive behavior and uses a system of accountability and honesty to facilitate recovery.

Is there more than one type of treatment?

Psychotherapy, group therapy and counselling as well as the 12 Steps of recovery are the most effective ways of treating sex addiction. See… http://www.theaac.co.za/what-is-addiction/recovery-programmes/the-12-steps-of-aa-na-ga-oa-ca-a-slaa

Would polygamy (and the resultant tens of kids) qualify as sex addiction, as some people think?

Not necessarily. Polygamy or polyamoury means having more than one love and involves more than two people who are in a committed relationship together. And just like a relationship between two people, a polyamourous relationship has boundaries within in which all the parties move and operate. If the boundaries or rules are violated, it may cause the relationship/s to end. Polygamy or polyamoury does not refer at all to hypersexuality but it is however judged that way. People are not more or less likely to be addicted to sex because of it.

Unfortunately pedophiles do find the polyamourist lifestyle attractive because they have access to more children, so not all polyamourists are pedophiles. Polyamoury may result in many children being born, but generally there are more parents to raise them within the polyamourous family. If a child’s rights are being violated, then there needs to be consequences. It is therefore no correct to generalize that all polygamists / polyamourists are pedophiles. Polygamy does not predispose anyone to pedophilia.

What about people like Tiger Woods and Warren Beatty, who’s reportedly bedded over 12,000 women – would they be sex addicts?

If Tiger Woods and Warren Beatty cannot control their sexual thoughts, desires and behaviour then yes they are sex addicts. Only they and their therapists know if they are hypersexual or addicted to sex. However, if their behaviour is causing damage to their mental, spiritual, physical, emotional or financial health or to anyone else’s, then they need to address it.

I just read a Mail & Guardian article that says you’re lobbying for the The Prevention of and Treatment for Substance Abuse Act to be amended to include sex addiction. How is that going?

Addiction is today where HIV/AIDS was 15 years ago. There is a lot of ignorance and resistance towards addressing the issue. You have to understand that addiction is big business. SARS and big industries thrive on addiction. In most cases more than 50 cents of every Rand that is spent on every beer that’s consumed, every cigarette that is smoked, every Rand that is gambled, every pill that’s swallowed and every porno that’s bought goes to the country in the form of sin taxes, companies tax and vat. In other words, South Africa is addicted to the income derived from addiction. So there is a lot of resistance to our cause. But it won’t stop us. Over the next two to three years we will be challenging the constitutionality of this practice in the High Court and the Constitutional Court. And we will win. Our rights are actually being violated and the Bill of Rights and Constitution does protect us. No one has been motivated to challenge these issues before The AAC came along. Like the TAC, the long term results of The AAC will save millions of people’s lives worldwide, not just in South Africa.

How do our laws compare to those of other countries when it comes to sex addiction? How would you like our laws to change?

We have one law that deals with addiction in South Africa which is severely inadequate. It’s called The Prevention of and Treatment for Substance Abuse Act. But gambling, sex and pornography are not substances, they are behaviours. As long as these behaviours are not recognized as addictions, the level of consciousness about how big the epidemic of addiction is will not be anywhere near where it should be and the result is inadequate prevention and treatment. The AAC wants to see every addiction measured so we know where to start and what to do. It’s insane to think that our little act is having any effect when we haven’t even measured how bad addiction is in S.A in its entirety.

We also want the Constitutional Court to rule in our favour that it is unconstitutional and a violation of our human rights to profit from addiction. And so we want the ConCourt to instruct the High Court to rule on the remedy. The remedy that The AAC is campaigning for is that we want industries who profit from addiction to measure what percentage of their income comes from people who cannot control themselves. And once that is done, we want a firm commitment from them to raising their harm reduction spending to reasonable levels within a reasonable period of time. The reality is that 99% of South Africans have no access to treatment whilst corporates profit from them indiscriminately. This practice needs to stop. If your products or services cause harm, then you must address the harm you’re causing adequately, especially if you’re profiting financially from it.

So far, SAB Miller are playing games with us and are using fancy footwork to delay addressing our concerns. The pharmaceutical industry is working very positively towards measuring their harm and becoming responsible. The other industries are avoiding us entirely. But we will ensure their involvement in the long term by using the law. Until then, they are going to try and profit as much as they can.

Do you get opposition because some people think it might let rapists off the hook?

I don’t believe that being addicted to sex will ever get a rapist of the hook just like an alcoholic is not excused from killing someone by drunken driving. We’re campaigning for sex addiction to be recognized not to protect addicts from the consequences of their actions, but to reduce the extent of addiction and provide effective treatment for the masses. The AAC supports prosecution and enforcement of law where it comes to rape. Even if the rape was committed by a sex addict. It is essential that people suffering from an addiction experience the consequences of their actions. Protecting people from their consequences will prolong their addiction and suffering.

Is AA the Best Solution?: Alternatives for Alcoholics

Written by Warren Whitfield. Posted in Articles

Are there other ways besides Alcoholics Anonymous?

Are there other ways of staying sober besides Alcoholics Anonymous?

by Stanton Peele addiction expert, psychologist, raconteur, Huffigton Post

Building on an essay in Wired magazine by Brendan Koerner, New York Times conservative columnist David Brooks lauds to the sky AA and its founder, Bill Wilson. Both Brooks and Koerner point out the worldwide spread of AA (although it is limited mainly to the U.S. and like-minded countries), and the spread of the 12 steps to nearly all areas of behavior change, indeed, to how we approach social problems of all sorts.

Along the way, Brooks makes the good points that there is no scientific way to program behavior change — that it is indefinite and rooted in individual choice. He points out the benefits of the social networks AA provides its members, and the decentralization of the AA movement, so that individual chapters are able to organize as its own members see fit. These are strong organization and psychological pluses.

But, unfortunately for a rational conservative, Brooks misses a few downsides to the AA movement.

1. The view AA conveys of alcohol and alcoholism is associated with abstinence-binge tendencies that already dominate America and other temperance nations. AA’s approach is completely abstinence oriented. In fact, temperance cultures like America, which are already highly suspicious and fearful of alcohol, are characterized by many individuals who restrict their drinking, but then go on benders. Similar Northern European cultures, for example, have several times the death rates due to alcohol of Southern European countries, because the former tend to monumental binges (think Ireland, England, Finland) while in the Southern countries, people drink alcohol causally with meals (think Italy, Spain, Greece, France). All indications are that the latter is much healthier. More particularly, the majority of AA members fall off the wagon. When they do so, they very often return to drinking without restraint.

Addiction Nation – The epidemic of addiction in S.A. today

Written by Warren Whitfield. Posted in Articles, Books

Addict Nation The Epidemic Of Addiction In South Africa Today - W.H. Whitfield

Addict Nation The Epidemic Of Addiction In South Africa Today - W.H. Whitfield

Addict Nation is the first book from author W.H. Whitfield. Its a highly informative book detailing all the different types of addictions, drugs, recovery programs etc, and equips the reader with knowledge of statistics and the rights and standards in South Africa.

This 300 page A4 book is the first from author W.H. Whitfield. Whitfield is the founder and chief executive of  The Addiction Action Campaign which is an organisation which lobbies the issues South Africa faces with government and corporates. He is himself in recovery from addiction, an addiction counsellor and Auricular Detoxification Specialist. He has counselled over 1400 addicts and worked as a counsellor, lecturer and detox program manager in two centres in South Africa. He has also run his own support group called the Refinery Group in Johannesburg for about two years.

He is a graduate of Rhema Bible School Counselling and for at least two years handled all of the addiction enquiries for the counselling centre and the Rhema T.V. helpline.

After studying to become a specialist in the U.S.A. he returned to South Africa with a strong determination to see the problem of addiction here addressed properly.

He is currently challenging the constitutionality of profiting from addiction in the High Court and Constitutional Court.

Buy this ebook here

The liability of the tobacco industry

Written by Warren Whitfield. Posted in Articles, Photos, Videos

Doctors recommending Camel cigarettes

Doctors recommending Camel cigarettes

Can tobacco manufacturers like this one, exclude themselves from any liability for the treatment and recovery costs of people who are addicted to their products, especially after they used doctors to endorse them?

What’s your opinion? Please register and leave your comment.

Click (more…) to see television adverts where doctors promoted smoking.

The AAC

Acudetox Centre

Quit Smoking with Acupuncture

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Kelly Clarkson shares new photo of baby Remy and his sister River on Father's Day Kelly Clarkson shared a new photo of baby son Remy on Sunday as she wished husband Brandon Blackstock a happy Father's Day. The sweet snapshot showed Brandon sitting on the sofa with his arms wrapped around their daughter River Rose and their two-month-old son Remington Alexander. 'Happy Father's Day @BBlackstock #PieceByPiece Thnx 4 being such a great dad 2 all 4 of our kiddos! #sexydaddyalert,' Kelly wrote on Twitter.pre bonded hair 'Sexy daddy alert': Kelly Clarkson shared a sweet photo of husband Brandon Blackstock with their two-year-old daughter River (L) and two-month-old son Remy in honour of Father's Day on Sunday The 34-year-old American Idol winner - who has been married to the talent manager since October 2013 - gave birth to Remy on April 12, while River celebrated her second birthday last week. Kelly is also stepmother to Brandon's two children Savannah, 14, and Seth, eight, and recently said that they won't be having any more kids.

'Oh, no, we are done,' she told KIIS FM Australia when asked if she planned to try for more children. 'Oh good Lord, yes, I can't be pregnant again. This will be our number four total, so we're good. 'Honestly, the first one was really rough, and I was like, "Oh, it can't happen again," and no it happened, like, way worse this time.' Happy family: The singer is also stepmother to Brandon's two children Savannah, 14, and Seth, eight. She is seen here with the talent manager in 2013 Kelly added: 'I just get hospitalised, and I have to get fluids. It's just, like, my body was not made to be pregnant.' Meanwhile last month, the singer joked that she 'hates' Chrissy Teigen, after seeing a picture of the model in a crop top and hotpants just three weeks after giving birth. Responding to the photo that John Legend shared on Instagram, Kelly tweeted: 'Okay, what?! She just had a baby! My train of thoughts.... #hateher #justkidding #kindofnotkidding #jealouslikeJonas.' But it was all in good fun as the pop star also invited John and his wife and daughter over for a 'play date' - providing they bring some of Chrissy's delicious cooking. Fighting back: Last year, the Stronger hit-maker responded to fat-shamers who criticised her for not bouncing back into shape right away after giving birth Last year, the Stronger hit-maker responded to fat-shamers who criticised her for not bouncing back into shape right away after giving birth. 'There are just some people who are born skinny and with a great metabolism – that is not me,' Kelly told Redbook magazine.remy hair extensions 'I wish I had a better metabolism. But someone else probably wishes they could walk into a room and make friends with everyone like I can. You always want what someone else has.' The star added: 'I don't obsess about my weight, which is probably one of the reasons why other people have such a problem with it.' Just kidding: Meanwhile Kelly joked last month that she 'hates' Chrissy Teigen for getting back her pre-baby figure so quickly after giving birth

She impressed audiences with her gorgeous legs as she flirted with Leonardo DiCaprio in Wolf of Wall Street. And Margot Robbie’s pins were on display as she strolled around New York City in a short black slip dress paired with a long pink Kimono, on Wednesday. The 26-year-old showed why she is tipped to be the next Bond girl, showing off her slender physique in the eye-catching number from Spell & The Gypsy Collective. Scroll down for video Stepping out: Margot Robbie’s trim pins were on display as she wafted around New York City in a short black slip dress paired with a long pink Kimono on Wednesday The oriental-inspired garment featured broderie anglaise in elaborate flower patterns on the sleeves, shoulders and back, and flowed behind her as she strolled around downtown NYC. Leaving a Tribeca hotel, the Australian actress smiled behind oversized round metallic sunglasses with her blonde locks tied back in a bun.perruques cheveux naturels The Hollywood starlet’s complexion was characteristically flawless all over, but years in the Northern Hemisphere appeared to have erased her Australian tan. All smiles: Leaving a Tribeca hotel, the Australian actress smiled behind oversized round metallic sunglasses with her blonde locks tied back in a bun High fashion: The 26-year-old showed why she is tipped to be the next Bond girl, showing off her slender physique in the eye-catching number from Spell & The Gypsy Collective Good taste: The oriental-inspired garment featured broderie anglaise in elaborate flower patterns on the sleeves, shoulders and back, and flowed behind her as she strolled around downtown NYC She enhanced her look with natural-look makeup and subtle pink lipstick and carried a small black leather handbag to run her errands.

Margot had been at a fitting for the upcoming NYC premiere of her new film Suicide Squad on Monday night. Tinseltown is abuzz with rumours that the blonde beauty will appear in the next James Bond film as a Bond girl, following a long line of glamorous actresses. Flawles: The Hollywood starlet’s complexion was characteristically flawless all over, but years in the Northern Hemisphere appeared to have erased her Australian tan Going natural: She enhanced her look with natural-look makeup and subtle pink lipstick and carried a small black leather handbag to run her errands Looking her best: Margot had been at a fitting for the upcoming NYC premiere of her new film Suicide Squad on Monday night Online polls have revealed the 26-year-old stunner is at the strongest odds to fill the role, sitting at 12/1, while Emily Blunt sits at 16/1, according to Paddy Power. Others sitting at promising odds to star as the much-desired female character are American model and actress Emily Ratajkowski, who sits at 22/1, with Brit Emma Watson further down the line at 40/1. The Gold Coast girl found her big break in 2013 opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street as the feisty and seductive, Naomi. Plenty to smile about: Tinseltown is abuzz with rumours that the blonde beauty will appear in the next James Bond film as a Bond girl, following a long line of glamorous actresses Adoring fans: Margot caused a stir with passersby as she stepped out in NYC Well made: The beautiful garment had an elaborate rose pattern on its back More recently, she starred alongside Alexander Skarsgård in The Legend Of Tarzan as Jane.perruques cheveux As well as the blockbuster, Margot has various other projects in the pipeline, including Suicide Squad, in which she plays Harley Quinn. Other females who have starred as the prestigious Bond girl include talented beauties Halle Berry, Rosamund Pike and Eva Green. Next big thing: Online polls have revealed the 26-year-old stunner is at the strongest odds to fill the Bond role, sitting at 12/1, while Emily Blunt sits at 16/1, according to Paddy Power . In demand actress: As well as the blockbuster, Margot has various other projects in the pipeline, including Suicide Squad, in which she plays Harley Quinn Following in footsteps: Other females who have starred as the prestigious Bond girl include talented beauties Halle Berry, Rosamund Pike and Eva Green Although the buzz around who will land the role of Bond girl is growing, the film is not expected to be released until at least 2018. Producer Barbara Broccoli has two other projects firmly underway and is said to be keen to tempt Daniel Craig into reprising his role as the titular character for the fifth time. Holding her own: Her breakout role was as DiCaprio's feisty wife, Naomi, on Wolf of Wall Street, which her portrayal earned her international acclaim - and showed off her gorgeous legs to the world

Next week will see the conclusion of the 12th season of The Bachelorette, as Joelle 'JoJo' Fletcher gets engaged to either Jordan Rodgers or Robby Hayes. And according to a new report, there's set to be a dramatic break-up ahead of the romantic proposal.lace front wigs Us Weekly claims that JoJo comes to the difficult decision of choosing between the two suitors after one of them makes a big mistake with her parents Joseph and Soraya. Family matters: Joelle 'JoJo' Fletcher apparently picks her fiance in next week's Bachelorette finale after one of the men makes a big mistake with her parents Who will it be?: Jordan Rodgers (L) and Robby Hayes are the two men left in the competition, and one of them allegedly gets sent packing after failing to ask JoJo's parents for her hand in marriage The runner-up gets dumped after failing to ask the 25-year-old's parents' for her hand in marriage, and during the emotional rejection, JoJo confesses that she wanted things to turn out differently. 'JoJo was sobbing,' a source told Us Weekly. 'She told him, “I wanted it to be you.”' The insider added: 'It was important to JoJo that the guys get her parents’ permission before proposing. JoJo viewed it as disrespectful that he didn’t.' Us Weekly claims that JoJo's family liked both of the finalists, but thought that the man she eventually picks was better suited to her. Favourite from the start: Jordan received the First Impression Rose and his relationship with JoJo has gone from strength to strength ever since

Not true: The 27-year-old former quarterback has denied that he cheated on his last girlfriend 'Everyone thought he was husband material,' a source said. 'Later, they told JoJo that they liked the other man too, but they thought the second would be more loyal and a better fit.' And speaking about the family's meeting with the runner-up, the insider revealed: 'After he left, Soraya said she thought he was a player.' It seems that JoJo did make the right decision however, as she is apparently still very happily engaged to the winner. She likes what she sees: JoJo has also fallen in love with former competitive swimmer Robby, 27 Denying the rumours: Robby has refuted claims that he dumped his girlfriend to appear on the show Former quarterback Jordan, 27, has been a favourite to win the show from night one, when JoJo presented him with the First Impression Rose. Show secrets: Us Weekly revealed details of the dramatic finale And while on Monday's episode of the show he was seen telling the real estate developer that asking her father's permission to propose would be very important to him, a clip for the finale showed JoJo asking if he is ready to get down on one knee. Both of the finalists have faced rumours about past relationships, with Jordan's ex Brittany Farrar claiming that they broke up because she cheated on him. He denied this to JoJo on the show. The footballer is estranged from his famous NFL star brother Aaron, whose girlfriend Olivia Munn is close pals with Jordan's ex-girlfriend. Aaron finally addressed his younger brother speaking about their fraught relationship on the show during an interview with WISN on Tuesday. 'As far as those kinds of things go, I've always found that it's a little inappropriate to talk publicly about some family matters, so I'm not going to speak on those things,' he said. 'But I wish him well in the competition.' Meanwhile a friend of Robby's ex-girlfriend Hope Higginbotham has claimed that he dumped her in order to go on The Bachelorette, something which he denied during last week's hometown dates. The Bachelorette finale followed by the After The Final Rose special will air on ABC on Monday.cosplay wigs She made the right choice: JoJo is apparently still happily engaged to the winner, who popped the question in May. The finale airs on ABC on Monday